Descriptions of the Nondescript

Amusing Cynicism ala ChatGPT

I asked Chat GPT via Bing! (this always sounds to me like a toastergasm) to make fun of my least favorite semiconductor company while rewriting something I wrote in an earlier post.

The Black Wizard scoffed at me, and, with a clumsy right handed gesture, muttered “INTEL” to himself. The air crackled around him, filling the cavern with a bright, quickly fading blue flash. As he stumbled away, distracted, the space he left behind became hot and humid, with a strong smell of burning. I found myself overwhelmed with a disgust for stale bread.

This cheered me so much that I kept on going, asking for one about Apple. I would remind you this is running on a service provided by Microsoft.

Apple, oh Apple, how I loathe thee
You charge me an arm and a leg for a phone
That has less features than a toaster
And breaks down more often than a clown car

Apple, oh Apple, how I despise thee
You lure me in with your sleek design
And your fancy marketing
But you lock me in with your walled garden
And your planned obsolescence

Apple, oh Apple, how I detest thee
You pretend to be innovative and cool
But you copy and sue everyone else
You act like you care about the environment
But you produce tons of e-waste

Apple, oh Apple, how I abhor thee
You think you are better than everyone else
But you are just a cult of snobs
You make me sick with your arrogance
And your rotten core.

Asking it to write a haiku about the Black Wizard yielded this:

Black Wizard in cave
Muttering “INTEL” softly
Magic fills the air